gold shadow

Telmavar Records, Polydor-Universal // 2015

1. Over My Head

I'm in over my head

Dragged back from the dead

How was I to know?

Just a seedling in the snow

Now I am trying

To get you on the line

'Cause baby I'm coming back home

 

And it's hard to believe, but there's nobody leaving

Please don't lock the door

'Cause baby I'm yours

 

A shattered broken pile

That could not reconcile

Darkness stared at me

A love spilled carelessly

Then you turned on the light

Like a moth in the night

Baby I'm coming home

 

And it's hard to believe, but there's nobody leaving

Please don't lock the door

'Cause baby I'm yours

 

2. Ode To My Thalamus

 

The clouds are gathering in the sky above

I know this one's gonna hurt my love

Birds are shouting through the Mangrove trees

They know the difference between a storm and breeze

I too have felt this once before

I hear that pounding and it's at my door

Outside it's boiling, but the water is cold

All signs point to that I'm getting old

The waves are rising and I take that dive

To hold a breath is not to be alive

I felt it then, I feel it now

I know its coming but I don't know how

It's taking us apart, this Helicase of love

We're nothing but post-modern art, what were we thinking of

This is how it has to be – This is how it has to be

I'm constructing but I shouldn't be

My blood is boiling and the callus is hot

My veins are twisting in a sailor's knot

My Thalamus is growing down into my tongue

And all I taste is pain in every kiss and song

I know this story, and I know it well

The cracks are showing in my pearly shell

Outside I'm shaking and I feel them chills

There go both of my Achilles Heels

I fall down naked waiting for the storm

My arms are open, waiting to transform

The birds go flying, I hear them cry

I know it's coming but I don't know why

It's taking us apart, this Helicase of love

We're nothing but post-modern art, what were we thinking of

This is how it has to be, This is how it has to be

This is how it has to be, This is how it has to be

This is how it has to be, This is how it has to be

 

3. The Jail That Sets You Free

 

 

Lately I've been picking at the fossil in my throat

It's hard to stare into the ocean

and to try to stay afloat

Now don't upset yourself due to the changing of my mood

I'm hard to please sometimes

I'm hard to please sometimes

I'm on a staircase to the bottom of the bottom of my soul

Although my feet are still connected

They are out of my control

Now please refrain yourself from worrying on my behalf

I'm hard to understand sometimes

I'm hard to understand sometimes

Honey come with me

It's just you and me

Baby believe it's

As simple as can be

I will be the jail that sets you free

I will be the jail that sets you free

I'm shuffling underneath my pillow for the bed-crumbs of my mind

It's hard to look there for a future

when I left it all behind

Please don't condescend and say you've heard this one before

I'm hard to please sometimes

I'm hard to please sometimes

And while you're offering a handshake to a goddamn amputee

I feel my phantom heart is scratching in a train-wreck memory

Please don't try to cure me with on rectifying glance

I'm hard to understand sometimes

I'm hard to understand sometimes

Honey come with me

it's just you and me

Baby believe it's

As simple as can be

I will be the jail that sets you free

I will be the jail that sets you free

I'm hard to please sometimes

I'm hard to please sometimes

I will be the jail that makes you

I will be the jail that breaks you

I will be the jail that sets you free

 

4. Little Parcels Of An Endless Time

 

Little parcels of the past

are spinning down towards

the gyre

And a sinuous truth unvoiced

is stretching up forever

higher

Leaves of places,

leaves of friends

are blowing in the wind and

falling

But my ship carves

through the rain

to the place that I am

going

Trepidation,

you gotta be mistaken

It was an endless time ago

You gotta, gotta let it go

Trepidation,

you gotta be mistaken

It was an endless time ago

You gotta, gotta let it go

Tiny particles of light

have travelled in a wave to find me

A hundred million light-years past,

but still they seem to find a way to blind me

Storms of old,

I never told,

last year they were all the rages

All the sciences of motion

cannot calculate my changes

Trepidation,

you gotta be mistaken

It was an endless time ago

You gotta, gotta let it go

Trepidation,

you gotta be mistaken

It was an endless time ago

You gotta, gotta let it go

Trepidation,

you gotta be mistaken

It was an endless time ago

You gotta, gotta let it go

Trepidation,

you gotta be mistaken

It was an endless time ago

You gotta, gotta let it go

 

 5. My Tunnels Are Long And Dark These Days

 

Here, my friend

You have nothing to fear, my friend

You have nothing to fear, my friend

Except for love

We're moles my friend

We are just moles my friend

Blind against the dark

That's where we belong

 

The hungry crocodiles are dancing in the light

But what's up there besides the darkness of the night?

The hungry crocodiles are dancing in the light

But what's up there besides the darkness of the night?

 

Forget them, friend

You better hear, my friend

Where the tunnels never end

To love is to pretend

Don't try to love yourself again

That is the worst kind of pain

We're not those kind of freaks, amen

We're a different site and breed of men

Up there they're drinking down the day

They mix it with the chardonnay

They try to keep the dark at bay

Down here the darkness stays

 

The hungry crocodiles are dancing in the light

But what's up there besides the darkness of the night?

The hungry crocodiles are dancing in the light

But what's up there besides the darkness of the night?

 

6. Gold Shadow

 

There's a gold shadow seeping through the door

There's a cold sparrow lying still upon the floor

Dead and true as lipstick

Slow as the speed of skin

There's a gold, gold shadow growing from within

There's a bent willow in the moonlight painted blue

There's a spent window silhouetting you

Deep and true as whiskey

Soft and sure as lies

There's a bent, bent willow reflecting in your eyes

But now there's a girl out in a boat

Her arms are outstretched and she's barely afloat

There's a man on the shore, a rope in his hands

It's tied to the boat, and he's pulling as hard as he can

Not to bring her to him,but to pull the whole shore

and the whole world with it to her open door

All his voices are her

All his voices are her

Has he been here before?

Nobody's sure

There's a silver distance, a luminescent glimpse

There's a river of resistance, dried to cracks upon your lips

Brittle as believing

Sticky as betrayal

There's a silver distance opening up like a trail

There was a time before all the leaves

covered the beauty of Adam & Eve

And they were blind, and they were free

To be whatever they wanted to be

But now they are just a prayer in a song

And he is so sorry for all that went wrong

All his voices are her

All his voices are her

Has he been here before?

Has he been here before?

 

7. Let's Just Call It Fate

 

Tears are clouding up a sunny day

And I wish it'd turn up any other way

But I don't think that you'd care

If I stepped out of your hair

And you'd find me anywhere - but here

 

I wish it wasn't so

I'll say it again - I wish it wasn't so

But I don't think that you'd mind

If I left this room behind

And I'd step outside to find - some other place

 

Let's say that it's OK, and just leave it at that

 

Things are different than they seem

Everybody's looking from the outside, but we're both stuck within

And I'd wish that you would say

That you wanted me to stay

And we'll find some other way but this

 

Let's say that it's OK, and just leave it at that

 

Maybe I could wait

But I think that it's too late

So let's just call it Fate - from here

 

8. These Words You Want To Hear

 

don't you think it's time

you get on over that?

don't you think you had enough?

i mean, i know you had it rough

but that pansy-fancy way of looking grim all through the day and night?

is something wrong my dear?

have i said it way to clear?

then let me whisper in your ear

all these words i know are wrong

but for the sake of writing song

here is what i guess you want to hear

somewhere up there

the sky is blue for you

somewhere out there

there's something new to do

somebody loves you

somebody loves you

tell me do you think

you have some exclusivity

on every shadow of regret

that's lurking in proximity

to what you think your life should be?

but if you close your eyes you'll see

that there is nothing for you here

still the only words you hear

are somewhere up there

the sky is blue for you

somewhere out there

there is something new to do

somebody loves you

somebody loves you

now tell me how about we maybe

switch things for a change?

i will lie down in denial

and you can have this page

its condescending and its sad

you're not the only one that's had

a life like this, i'm sorry dear

but it's what everybody wants to hear

 

9. A Part Of This

 

Its understood that you don't wanna be a part of this

although you could

but you have grown apart from this

and I for one am sick of running in these circles dear

and I for one would love the sound of your voice in my ear

it's crystal clear

although I am here

I am not a part of this

 

Its overdue, so let's go put an end to this

You know its true, why don't you put an end to this?

Our time is gone

what was is gone its only memory

That kick us out

Lets end this song with your voice telling me

Its crystal clear

Although I am here

I am not a part of this

 

I think I knew that it would have to end like this

I am blaming you

But I am as much to blame in this

Its seems my heart right from the start was always split in two

It is so far from what you are and what I have made of you

Its crystal clear I wasn't here

I am not a part of this

I am not a part of this

I am not a part of this

I am not a part of this

Its crystal clear I wasn't here

I have never been a part of this.

 

10. Bang Bang

 

I love you like roots in the sand

I love you like God loves his plan

I love you like death loves a man

I love you like a gun in my hand

 

I go bang, bang, bang, a-bang, bang, bang

I'm back, back again

 

I love you like scalpel loves flesh

I love you like blood that's fresh

I love you like a Jew on the run

I love you like my hand on a gun

 

Bang, bang, bang, a-bang, bang, bang, sha-bang

I'm back, back again

Ooooh.....

I can't think any damn thing, anything but you

Ooooh...

That's how I love, love, love, love, love, love, love.

 

I love you like chisel and stone

I love you like needle and bone

I love you like a god loves his son

And I love you like my hand on a gun

 

I go bang, bang, bang, a-bang, bang, bang

I'm back, back again

 

11. The Labyrinth Song

 

Evening rises, darkness threatens to engulf us all

But there's a moon above it's shining and I think I hear a call

It's just a whisper through the trees, my ears can hardly make it out

But I can hear it in my heart, vibrating strong as if she shouts

 

Oh Ariadne, I am coming, I just need to work this maze inside my head

I came here like you asked, I killed the beast, that part of me is dead

Oh Ariadne, I just need to work this maze inside my head

If only I'd have listened to you when you offered me that thread

 

Everything is quiet and I'm not exactly sure

If it really was your voice I heard or maybe it's a door

That's closing up some hero's back, on his track to be a man

Can it be that all us heroes have a path but not a plan?

 

Oh Ariadne, I'm coming, I just need to work this maze inside my mind

I wish I had that string, it's so damn dark, I think I'm going blind

Oh Ariadne, I just need to work this maze inside my mind

For the life of me I don't remember what I came to find

 

Now tell me princess are you strolling through your sacred grove?

And is the moon still shining? You're the only thing I'm thinking of

The sword you gave me, it was heavy, I just had to lay it down

It's funny how defenseless I can feel here when there's nobody around

 

Oh Ariadne, I'm coming, I just need to work this maze inside my heart

I was blind, I thought you'd bind me, but you offered me a chart

Oh Ariadne, I just need to work this maze inside my heart

If I'd known that you could guide me, I'd have listened from the start

 

Somewhere up there there midnight strikes, I think I hear the fall

Of little drops of water, magnified against the barren wall

It's more a feeling than a substance, but there's nobody around

And when I'm in here all alone, it's just enough to let me drown

 

Oh Ariadne, I was coming, but I failed you in this labyrinth of my past

Oh Ariadne, let me sing you, and we'll make each other last

Oh Ariadne, I have failed you in this labyrinth of my past

Oh Ariadne, let me sing you, and we'll make each other last

 

12. Fair Haired Traveller

 

On a train ride from some place bad

To some place little better

in-between my youth and manhood

was the place I met her

she was just a skinny brown-eyes girl

A hunger for tomorrow

and I was then obese by pain

I had all thta I could swallow.

 

Oh fair haired travelling girl

Keep on travelling on

Oh fair haired travelling on

It's just the seat that you have is wrong

 

Her eyes were packing passed regrets

in her lips there was redemption

and she mistook my coat for love

as she wore it for affection

as she took the seat beside me

I inhaled all of her laughter

and she forgot there is a past

while i forgot there is an after.

 

Oh fair haired travelling girl

Keep on travelling on

Oh fair haired travelling on

It's just the seat that you have is wrong

 

On a train ride from some place gone

to some place almost certain

in-between my flesh and bone

was the place I met her

and wrapped up in my coat of shame

she laide there sleeping tightly

and as the train pulled to another stop

I knew that she'd go on without me.

 

Oh fair haired travelling girl

Keep on travelling on

Oh fair haired travelling on

It's just the seat that you have is wrong

 

13. I Want You To Die